Nyssa (Goddess of War Series Book 1) Read online

  “Name?”

  I flinched as a hard voice rang out over the courtyard toward me. “Uh. Haydyn Chyme,” I managed to stammer back to the speaker, hoping desperately I sounded like my brother.

  “Stand with the rest,” he replied and turned his attention away from me to continue talking with his comrades.

  We all turned at the sound of hooves thundering into the square, and the impressive figure of General Roeseer rode into view. He stopped, drawing his horse level with our sad and worried-looking group. He looked each man over, and his eyes finally settled on me. “Haydyn Chyme, step forward!”

  It took every inch of strength to stop myself flinching when he said my brother’s name. Did he know it was me? How did he know? There was nothing else I could do, so I stepped forward and in my practised new voice said, “General?”

  “I hope your sister was not too sad to see you leave this morning.” He looked down at me from his horse as he spoke. Is he playing with me? I thought, trembling slightly. Does he truly know? The fear must surely have shown in my eyes as I replied to him. “No, General. I think she was glad to have me out from under her feet in the bakery kitchens.” I gave him a rueful smile, hoping that humour was the right choice of response. A few of the men in the vicinity laughed at this, although Roeseer narrowed his eyes and leaned a little closer toward me from his seat in his saddle. I was certain he was looking for something, sure his instinct was telling him that something wasn’t right. I held my breath and waited to be found out. If I was caught now, then my brother would be hauled out of his bed and probably whipped or even executed as punishment. I supposed I would probably also likely be executed for trying to deceive General Roeseer and Lord Odyn.

  With no more than a slight flick of his wrist, the General wheeled his horse around, and without another word, left me standing there exhaling, heavily for the second time in twenty-four hours. “We move.” His voice rang out over the courtyard and the mounted men kicked their horses in to a walk, while we trailed behind them on foot. I couldn’t believe I had done it, I had actually managed to pass myself off as Haydyn. Now I just had to make sure that no one found out the truth. Hopefully a time would come when I could perhaps fake my own death, or simply disappear on the battlefield one day and then make my way back home to my family.

  I hadn’t realised how hard they were going to push us. After we crossed over the town border, the pace was fast and relentless, and I quickly found myself struggling to keep up under the searing heat of the morning sun. The pain in my legs was unbearable, and even though I was fit and active, the pace expected of the men was not something that a woman could keep up with easily. As I started to lag behind my group, a lieutenant came thundering back through the ranks on his horse and bellowed at me to keep up.

  Fear coursed through me, and I quickened my pace, throwing all of my concentration into keeping up with the rest of the group. My panic cost me as, without warning my foot caught against a rock, and I fell forward, landing with a painful thud in the dirt. My hands burned as I took the skin off the palms, and my face burned in shame as everyone stopped to turn and stare at me. The lieutenant was just about to get off his horse, his face filled with fury, when a voice rang out and stopped him mid dismount. “Belias, continue forward. I will deal with the boy.” Roeseer came cantering down the line and swiftly dismounted before me.

  We were quickly left behind as the other recruits moved on under the instruction of the lieutenant, Belias. “Are you hurt, Chyme?” Roeseer asked as he stood over me and offered his hand to help me up. “No, General, I-I’m Okay.” I replied as I grabbed his hand to pull myself up and out of the dirt. For as much as I hated him, if I refused his help, I would make him angry. My hand went to my ankle; it wasn’t broken but it hurt a lot.

  His eyes followed my every move. “You’ve hurt your ankle Chyme,” he suddenly said. “And we can’t afford to be slowed down any longer. I want to be at the castle by tomorrow morning at the latest.” He frowned at me. I made to protest that my ankle was fine but he silenced me with a hand and mounted back into his saddle. Turning he offered me his hand again. “Up, you can ride behind me for the rest of the journey You’re injured, and I don’t have time for this.”

  I knew that arguing would bring me nothing but trouble, and yet I was terrified that if I was that close to him he would discover my secret. I would have to wrap my arms around him and grip him with my legs. As he pulled me up behind him, I settled into the saddle and only just managed to bite my lip to cover a squeak that would have given me away for sure. Without another word, he kicked the horse into a gallop to catch us up with the rest of the group. I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my head in to his broad, back and held on as tightly as I dared.

  We rode through most of the night, stopping briefly for some food and a snatched few hours of miserable sleep on the cold, hard ground. The General and Lieutenants slept exactly the same way, and I felt a grudging admiration that they didn’t afford themselves any luxuries that we were lacking. It was obvious to me this gruelling trek was to be stage one of our training to become soldiers of Lord Odyn’s army, and there didn’t seem to be any real cruelty attached to it. The General seemed to take little pleasure in our discomfort, and I was confident by the time we approached the imposing gates of Castle Kytara that all of this had been done to help strengthen us for the eventual battlefield on which we would find ourselves.

  General Roeseer stopped his mount at the gates, ordering me to dismount. As I climbed down from the horse, he turned to me and said, “Be careful when you are introduced to Lord Odyn, boy. He is a very perceptive man.” And as quickly as he was there, he was gone. Thundering through the castle gates with his red cloak streaming behind him. As the lieutenants left behind moved us forward and through the gates I pondered upon what he had meant by Odyn being perceptive. It was almost as though he knew I had something to hide. The question was, did he know what?

  We were given no time to rest or clean up before we were ushered straight into a magnificent Great Hall on the ground floor of the castle. The floors were made of polished stone, and pillars ran around the outskirts of the room, holding up the impossibly high ceiling. All of the seating and floor covers were made of sumptuous fabric and golden candelabra decorated the walls, throwing dancing spears of light across the room. At the far end of the hall on a raised dais, flanked by ten finely dressed guardsmen, sat a man. As I drew nearer, I realised General Roeseer was stood among the guards watching us as we approached It felt as though he were staring straight at me.

  I pulled my gaze back to the man seated at the centre of the dais, and now that I was a little closer, my breath caught in my throat. If Astarin Roeseer was magnificent then this man was a god. He had red hair, but unlike mine, it was so dark it looked like the colour of wine, or blood. His hair fell in soft waves to the nape of his neck, and his eyes were two shining black jewels, so dark it must be impossible to read them. His face was pale, like porcelain and was so strikingly beautiful I gasped aloud. He was garbed in the same manner as his guardsmen, red and black armour, but it was dress armour, light and more comfortable than something that would be worn to war. He was more slight of build than the General but no less impressive His languid and graceful poise made me think of a leopard or a panther. He was all muscle but toned and slender with it. I thought of his banner and realised how apt the black cat on it was. He was of a similar age to Roeseer, perhaps a little older, and he oozed confidence and capability. It was obvious at first glance that he was born to rule.

  “Welcome to Castle Kytara, recruits!” His voice was a heady mixture of charm and authority, and it matched his face perfectly. We all listened enrapt as he continued. “I know that some of you come here willingly and some of you do not. I don’t care which of you is which. You have been brought here to help defend your state and ultimately to bring peace to the entire country of Ankh Shdaar. You have been taken away from those you love, mothers, wives, sisters.”

&
nbsp; At that last word my eyes met General Roeseer’s, and I cast them down frantically to avoid his cold, unwavering gaze.

  The Keshkana continued. “But you are here for that very reason, to defend those that you love. In these times of war, you have to be prepared to live and die for those who are important to you. Sometimes the only way you can protect them is to kill, and that is exactly what you will do. After today each of you belongs to me, until the day that you die.”

  The cheer the men in the hall suddenly broke into surprised me, and I gave a startled glance sideways. It seemed that Lord Odyn’s words had had an impact on those souls who were so tired and broken only a moment ago. He had re-energised them and made them smile fiercely in support of his words. I, on the other hand, was wondering to myself, exactly what a man who was touched by death loves. And I also wasn’t sure I liked the part about belonging to him until I died. A cold shiver traced its way down my spine despite the warmth of the room.

  “You are dismissed,” announced Lord Odyn.

  Feeling relief that I didn’t have to get any closer to this man who had ultimately killed my father. I turned with the rest of the recruits and started to make for the huge double doors. I shot one last glance back at the dais and saw Lord Odyn speaking into General Roeseer’s ear. General Roeseer did not look happy, and as I continued to watch, he met my eyes and gave me a chilling look. I quickly turned away, finding safety in numbers, as I melted into the crowd.

  As we walked away from the Great Hall, following the lieutenants to our new quarters, I breathed out in relief. The hardest part was over. I had left my home and my family, survived the gruelling trek across Kytara to my new home, and I had made it out of my first encounter with the “perceptive” Keshkana. All in all, apart from General Roeseer’s cold look just then, I was beginning to relax slightly. I was pretty sure, at this point in time that my brother was safe.

  Rapid footsteps on the stone floor snapped me back out of my reverie. As I turned to look for the perpetrator I felt a hand roughly grab my arm and drag me out of the group and into an alcove. As the others in my group turned in shock to see what had happened, General Roeseer snapped at them. “Keep walking. Move!” His voice had risen to a shout. I hadn’t seen him lose his cool this way yet, and it scared me. He continued pulling me until we ended up in a small room, just off the corridor, and he slammed the door behind us.

  I opened my mouth to protest at the bruise that was blooming on my wrist after he let me go, but he stepped toward me, raising his hand to my face. I recoiled from his anger, and backed in to the stone wall behind me.

  He gently laid his index finger over my lips and growled. “Don’t lie and don’t tell me I hurt you.” I blinked in confusion and started to speak, but he cut me off again. “Nyssa, now is not the time.”

  “What?” My head reeled, and I lost all control of myself, sliding down the wall and toward the floor. Did he just call me by my name? My real name? I was found out and now my brother would be taken. “Haydyn.” I whispered.

  He caught my arms and pulled me back to my feet. He is getting good at holding me up, I thought with a wild laugh. He caught hold of my chin, forcing me to focus on his face. “Nyssa, I know. I think I knew when we left Lyte Harbour. But I wasn’t sure, and I should have trusted my instincts, Gods be dammed.”

  He took a breath and sighed. “I warned you that Lord Odyn was perceptive. I had hoped he wouldn’t realise something was off about you, from such a distance, but he’s a smart man. He wouldn’t be where he is if he wasn’t. Nyssa, he has asked me to bring you to him, and there isn’t much time, he wants to see you right now. More than ever you have to be your brother. You have to give him the best pretence of your life. If he knows what you truly are, then you will suffer for it.”

  At this my shock turned to amusement, and I couldn’t help but snort with laughter. “Suffer? Suffer? After all you have done to me and my family and you tell me that now is when I am going to start suffering. Ha, you have no idea! You—”

  “Listen to me. Girl. When Odyn finds out you are a woman, he will likely invite you to his bed. It’s unheard of to refuse a Valhar, Nyssa, and believe me, no woman yet, has left Odyn’s bed happy.”

  He continued in a low whisper “Odyn is a good man, but he is a womaniser who is consumed by war. He has no desire to find a girl to spend his life with. He takes what he needs, and he uses women up, and then when he is bored of you or he gets you with child, he’ll have you removed from his sight.” My face paled and I felt a fresh wave of panic rush over me.

  I choked. I had no idea what to say, or what to do. I had never been with a man, never even kissed one, and to imagine myself in the bed of the man who killed my father and tried to take my brother was terrifying. If what Roeseer had said was true, I didn’t know how I would survive it. “Help me?” I managed to whisper.

  “I will try.” He looked sad as he spoke. “You have to be a man Nyssa. You have to deceive him or I will be sent back to Lyte Harbour to find Haydyn, and bring him to Castle Kytara, and to war.”

  Astarin Roeseer let go of my chin, and I stumbled back against the wall again, trying to gather myself together. The thoughts running through my head didn’t make any sense to me. A thousand feelings touched my soul and flinched away again, as though even my own body and mind didn’t want to face the threads of dark fear creeping through me.

  I shot a desperate look in his direction, and as I did I almost laughed at us. This man who I had come to hate so fiercely was suddenly my only ally in a world where I was entirely alone, something that I had never been in my whole life, for even though I had lost my father, I had always been able to turn to my mother or Haydyn for comfort in times of need. Right now, I yearned to be able to lose myself in my brother’s warm embrace, or feel my mother’s hand softly stroking my hair as she hummed a lullaby in the warmth of the open fire in the bakery kitchens.

  The only comfort I could draw right now was from the cold, hard, and fearsome man who stood in front of me, watching my face contort with different emotions, his eyes darkened with worry. This man had probably killed a hundred people with his own sword, maybe even a thousand in his lifetime and here I was placing my trust and future in his hands.

  Gripped by a brief moment of clarity, I met his gaze and spoke, “Wait! Why are you trying to help me? You hurt people for a living. That’s what you do. You shouldn’t care about what happens to me. In fact, I would have thought you would take some twisted pleasure in it. Or maybe you just want to keep me away from the Keshkana so that you can have me for yourself.” That angry side of me that just refuses to keep quiet found its way out as the accusation tripped from my tongue.

  His fists clenched and his mouth tightened. Too late I realised I had made him angry. He looked every inch the cruel and barbaric monster I saw in my head every time I thought of the day my father was taken from me. “You go too far, girl.” He spat the words out.

  I bit my lip, worried that he would kill me right there in that room, and no one would ever know what had become of me

  “I take no pleasure in your pain. Or anyone else’s. I have a job to do and if I don’t do it, then someone else will, and if my job is not done, then more people will ultimately suffer and die.”

  He came back to himself then. I could see the anger fading back from his face, and he finished in a slightly softer tone. “I serve my lord, and I love him as a brother, as a lord, as a king. I am loyal to Lord Odyn above all others. I would give my life for his thrice over, but that doesn’t mean I take pleasure in the things I have done. I don’t have to answer to you, girl. I only answer to him, and it is time we took you to him. He will be growing impatient.” He turned to reach for the door handle, and after shooting him a surprised glance I stepped forward to follow him through the open doorway.

  He turned to me as we left the room and leaned in close to my ear, his dark hair brushing against my cheek. “If you value your life and that of your family, never call Odyn, Keshkana where
he can hear you, boy,” he whispered, and with that he had my wrist in his grasp again, much more gently this time, leading me down the castle corridors to my fate.

  He clearly called me boy to remind me of what I needed to be when we reached our destination. He took the opportunity to give me one final warning to keep my deception up in front of Lord Odyn. Not that I needed prompting. Internally I was practising my brother’s voice over and over, and my eyes frantically scanned my clothing to make sure that nothing would reveal the truth about me. At the back of my mind, I couldn’t get rid of the thought of why this man would take such steps to help me. He who made a living dealing in death and stealing away loved ones for his lord and master. Why would he protect me?

  But too soon, I could no longer worry about Astarin Roeseer’s intentions as we reached a set of gilded double doors at the end of the last corridor we had turned in to. The doors were golden but inlaid with fine paintwork of black and blood-red, perfectly imitating the armour of my companion. The swirls ran together at the centre of the doors, creating the cat and sword crest of Rygard. Two immaculately presented guards stood at either side of the doors, and when they saw the General approach they stamped their feet in unison and came to attention. Roeseer gave an almost imperceptible nod, and one of the guards turned to open the doors, announcing, “General Roeseer, my lord,” as we passed into the chamber before us.

  The first thing that hit me as we walked into the private chamber of Lord Odyn Rygard was the scent of the room. A peppery wave of spices and dark chocolate teased my nose and felt almost as though they were caressing my whole body in their sensuality. If I’d thought the Great Hall was sumptuous, then this room was something else. There were thick tapestries covering the stone walls, depicting great battles from the annals of history. There were leaping horses, men wielding swords, men dying and bleeding on the battlefield, and the images of the god of war, Asmodeus, and the goddess of death, Shyara graced stunning tapestries on either wall at opposite ends of the room. Tall glass doors opened to a massive balcony which overlooked the Capital and the rolling lands beyond. The room was filled with golden candelabra and spice burners, which was where the intoxicating scent came from.