Nyssa (Goddess of War Series Book 1) Read online

  Watching Bernhardt tug the girl away from him, Astarin felt, almost guilty. Although he couldn’t understand why? He didn’t owe this one anything. She chose her path, chose to deceive him and Odyn in her brother’s place. Tilting his head slightly, he sighed heavily and turned to make his way back to Odyn’s chamber. The look she had given him gnawed away at him. Her wide green eyes had looked so scared and lost. There was no spark of the defiant fire she had shown to him and even Odyn. He chuckled at that last thought. There weren’t many who stared Lord Odyn Rygard down and lived to tell the tale. Although would she see it as living, he mused. She was so free-spirited and he was certain she had never left her home-town before. Would an existence as the mistress of a Valhar—for that is surely what she would now become—away from all of her family and friends really be what she would consider life?

  Odyn didn’t need to persuade women into his bed. It was the same for each of the five Valhars. Girls would throw themselves at him in a desperate bid to curry favour and live a blessed life of luxury. No doubt many hoped they would be “the one” and he would finally choose her and make her Lady Rygard, and perhaps ultimately Queen of Ankh Shdaar when his campaign was ended, and he was crowned king.

  Odyn was known to be the favourite to tip the scales in the balance of himself and Kytara. He had already smashed rebellions in the two southern states of Aestaryn and Barth, and although they still kept their Valhars, those men were loyal to the Keshkana now. This meant that Kytara had only two further enemy states to take hold of: the larger, northern states of Heryn and Lerwyn. Then it would be done. The unification of Ankh Shdaar would be realised and Odyn would sit right at the heart of it. It was obvious to the whole country that he would rule one day. So why did the Northern states insist on throwing more lives away on a war that was in all likelihood lost to them?

  And, the women kept on coming, hoping to be a part of history and to be the one who brought the next true-born heir of Ankh Shdaar, kicking and wailing in to the world. They didn’t realise until it was too late, that Odyn wanted no part in the raising of a bastard babe. Yet they would keep trying to change him in to a family man, before he ultimately cast them aside and moved on to a replacement. The thought of marriage never seemed to enter his head. He had never been a kind or thoughtful man, he was tainted by war and death and his violence ran deep both on and off the battlefield. He surely wouldn’t treat Nyssa any differently.

  Arriving back at the gilt doors, Roeseer couldn’t put thoughts of the girl out of his head. She wasn’t like the typical dim and vapid bitches who basked in Odyn’s attentions, willingly returning to him night after night. Wet and willing and with a coquettish smile on their face. She wasn’t made for that life; she had a purity about her that would shatter into a million pieces under Odyn’s thrall.

  The guards once again came to attention for their General, and opened the doors allowing him immediate access to the chamber. As he entered, Odyn looked up and gestured to him to take a seat opposite from him at the desk. As Astarin sat, the other man poured honey-gold wine into a goblet that matched his own and spoke, “Drink, gods know you must need one by now.” The General took the goblet and swallowed half. He hadn’t realised how parched he was.

  “Easy there, Ast,” laughed Odyn. “That’s not cheap tavern shit you know.”

  Astarin sat back in his seat and laughed along with his oldest friend. Seizing the moment of relaxed good humour, he casually asked, “What do you intend to do about the girl and her brother?”

  Odyn’s eyes narrowed, and the humour faded from his face as he answered the question with one of his own. “Did you really not know her for what she was, Ast?”

  Allowing the silence to stretch out for a moment, Roeseer genuinely sought the truth out in his own head and after a minute of deliberation, answered with absolute honesty. “I had my suspicions when we left Lyte Harbour, but I think it was only when we were halfway back that I became almost sure. I weighed up the best course of action and decided that one boy wasn’t worth the time it would take to return and sort things out. I was concerned, knowing that we had skirmishes on the border with Lerwyn happening here, and I wanted to get back in case I was needed.”

  Odyn leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and replied. “It seems your military judgement was spot on, as always. We’ve had trouble on the border with Lerwyn as you know, but this morning I had reports of outriders crossing the border from Heryn. It seems that they are scouts, dipping into Kytara and back out again almost before we even know they are there.”

  Astarin pondered this, his mind almost mirrored that of Odyn’s when it came to war, and he was pretty sure that whatever he suspected of these raids would already have run through his friend’s head. “I wonder, have Lerwyn and Heryn finally put their differences aside and realised that if they work together they have a shot at us?”

  Odyn set his mouth in a grim line as he responded. “Exactly what I was thinking.” Then he brightened. “We have the men, Ast. Now we have unity between Kytara, Aestaryn, and Barth. We can match them measure for measure.”

  It would be a close call. Combined, Heryn and Lerwyn were almost the same size as the three states in Odyn’s power. Undoubtedly men would die, many men. But it would all be worth it for an eternal peace and a unified nation once more.

  “I’ll leave for the northern borders at dusk. If we travel through the night there’s less chance of our approach being noticed. With your leave, I’ll take two others. We won’t be there to engage, just to watch and see.” Astarin made the only decision he could. He was, after all, the General and Commander of the Kytaran armed forces. Although he realised with a start that he was worried about leaving the girl alone.

  “Thank you, brother.” Odyn relaxed a little as he spoke and Roeseer knew that this was exactly what his lord had wanted from him. As he rose to leave, Odyn also stood, and they clasped each other’s forearms in a long-used gesture of comradeship. He wanted to ask again about the girl, but if he paid her too much mind then Odyn would remember her, and now she was to be left all alone with him while Astarin was away in the north.

  Turning to leave and make ready for his departure, he stopped as Odyn spoke. “The girl.” Roeseer looked at him waiting for the rest. “She will remain here in the capital. She chose to come and I choose to keep her for now. As for her brother.” He shrugged. “I’m in no hurry to chase after a coward who sends a girl to war in his place. We’ll take him next time we scout Lyte Harbour.” It was probably the best he could have hoped for from Odyn, although he hadn’t made his intentions toward the girl clear. At least Astarin could tell her that her brother was safe for now. With a brief acknowledgement of his friend’s words, he left to ready himself to ride out.

  Nyssa

  I slid farther down into the steaming water that threatened to spill over the sides of the copper bathtub. The water felt undeniably good, washing the dirt and aches from my body and leaving a residue all over my skin of the jasmine oils the maids had dropped in to the tub. When Bernhardt had led me to the red door of my new lodgings, my face had burned with shame as I took in the other four doors lining the corridor. They all mirrored mine, a crimson red colour, clearly indicating that all five rooms were designated for mistresses of the Valhar in residence at Kytara Castle. Lying in the bath now, I found myself wondering how many of the other rooms were currently occupied.

  Bernhardt had been as kind to me as the General had promised, ushering me into the room and calling for two maids to attend me. They had drawn my bath while the old man had promised to return soon with fresh clothes and food. He hadn’t given me a disdainful look like the sneer of Lord Odyn as he had referred to my dirty garb. He was kind and kept gently laying a hand on my arm as he spoke soothingly to me. He ended almost every sentence with “sweet girl.” I did appreciate the kindness, but at the same time, I hated him a little. Whatever way you looked at it, he was just cleaning up another slave to send to his master’s bed. I wondered how
someone who seemed so genuinely caring had ended up in the service of the most evil man in the country.

  Taking a deep breath, I ducked my head under the water. I had to push my knees up and out of the bath to be able to submerge the rest of my body completely. My auburn hair swirled on the surface above me and for a fleeting second, I wondered if I shouldn’t just let the breath out and suck in another while still beneath the water. It would be so easy to do, but how long would it take me to drown? Was it even possible to drown yourself in a bathtub or would the instinct for survival kick in no matter what? I carried on holding my breath until it felt like my lungs would burst if I didn’t let it go. In a swift release, I let the air leave me and pushed myself back up and out of the water, taking a halting gasp of fresh air as I broke through the surface.

  As I stood to get out, I caught my reflection in a mirror. The water ran down my pale, slender limbs. My hair hung down my back in a shimmering sheet of rose-gold glass. My cheeks were flushed with the heat from the bath. I reached for the towel robe the maids had left for me and wrapped it around my slim body, tying the rope belt at my waist. Leaving the bathing room, I padded through to the main bed chamber on bare feet.

  The bed was no four-poster, like the one in Lord Odyn’s chamber, but it was still huge and decadent in its covering of pillows and throws. At the end of the bed, there was a pale cream gown laid neatly next to a pair of golden slippers. What really caught my attention, though, was the scent that wafted from the dressing table in the corner of the room. I turned to see a myriad of foods and a whole flagon of wine waiting. At least Bernhardt made good on his promises. Stomach rumbling, I picked up a savoury pastry of some sort and popped it into my mouth whole. Grabbing another, I walked to the window. It was floor-length and was in fact a door that opened out onto a small balcony. I opened the door and stepped out, savouring the cool evening air against my damp skin.

  My room must be on the same side of the castle as Lord Odyn’s. As I looked to my left, I could see his grand balcony extending out much farther than mine, over the castle gardens. The huge double window to his apartment was illuminated by candle light. I stepped back into the room, slamming the door shut. Even this distance felt too close to him.

  A sudden knock at the door startled me from my thoughts. Assuming it was Bernhardt, coming back to check on me, I crossed the room and opened it to see General Roeseer’s imposing figure. He had clearly also bathed and had on full body armour of the red and black detail that already felt oddly familiar to me. I became quickly and acutely aware of how casually I had wrapped the towel robe around me. It was open at the neck to a V that ended just below my breasts. The robe itself was short, stopping just above my knees. I had never been so exposed in the company of a man before, and my hands flew to the folds of the robe, pulling it tighter around my chest as the General stepped into the room.

  “What do you want?” The words came to my lips, falling from my tongue before I could catch myself. I really needed to get a handle on my mouth, especially now. But I was afraid, for myself and my family.

  His face darkened for a second, and then he responded in a cool tone. “Lord Odyn will not pursue your brother. He has other matters on his mind. Haydyn and your mother will be well enough for now.”

  Relief flooded through me, tempered by a touch of guilt. It seemed he had come here to put my mind at rest, and I was horrible to him. I had spent so many years hating this man, and these conflicting feelings toward him left me dizzy.

  “Thank you.” I smiled at him and stepped back to allow him into the room, closing the door behind us. He either didn’t realise or didn’t care that I could see him looking hungrily over my body. His gaze paused to linger at my exposed chest and slid down the length of my legs inch by inch. I was driven to distraction by how self-conscious he made me feel, but I also felt a warmth in my belly. My body was responding to him, calling out to him, begging him to come closer, and I had no control over it. I breathed in slowly, trying to find my centre, but instead I felt myself step toward him almost as though I were in a dream. Looking at his face and the almost feral desire I saw there, I realised I wanted him to touch me. I imagined his arms, encased in their steel armour wrapped around me, and my heart missed a beat.

  The moment was lost when Roeseer took a sudden step back. Then he walked quickly over to the dressing table and poured a cup of wine for himself and one for me.

  I reeled back, feeling a mixture somewhere between relief and frustration as I accepted the cup he offered me. As I came back to myself, I realised that although he had bathed, he was dressed for war again. Just as I was about to ask him why, he spoke.

  “I’m leaving for the north.” His voice was grim. Any desire had fled his features and was replaced by hardness.

  My stomach clenched in fear. He was my only, “friend” but that wasn’t exactly the right word. Protector maybe, the only thing that stood between me and Lord Odyn. “When?” I managed.

  “Now. I wanted to let you know your brother is safe before I left.” He seemed distant, almost angry.

  “Oh,” was all I could whisper. I didn’t ask about what would happen to me. I couldn’t. I was too afraid to hear his answer, so instead I turned away and looked toward the window. I was embarrassed about the way my body was betraying me, and I didn’t want him to leave, but I couldn’t say that to him. He owed me nothing after all.

  As I heard the chamber door closing softly, I whirled around to find the room empty. He was getting far too good at this.

  Astarin

  What the fuck was that? Astarin growled to himself internally as he stalked along the corridor. This girl was getting under his skin. He’d known her for five minutes, and she was driving him crazy. What was she thinking opening the door dressed like that? It wasn’t his fault his cock had responded to her. Her face was beautiful; she looked ethereal, like a goddess. But coupled with those long legs still glistening with water from the bath and her robe open, exposing the soft curves of her tits, he was wild with lust. He just wanted to rip the robe off her and take her right there, hard and fast, until she screamed his name in her release. There must have been jasmine in her bath water because his nose had been filled with the warm, clean scent of her, and it had sent his head into a spin. If he hadn’t left when he did, he would have, would have fucked her senseless right then and there.

  “Thank the gods I still have some self-control left,” he murmured to himself as he approached the gates. His men were already mounted and waited patiently. If he had spoiled her for Odyn, brother or not, the Keshkana would probably take his head, or at the least his cock. Some time away from here —from her— would serve him well. Perhaps he needed to pick up a whore on the road. He was tense. War did that to him as much as it did to Odyn. He swung angrily into his saddle and without a word, kicked his horse into a canter, his men following behind.

  Nyssa

  After the General had left, I fell into the soft bed and slept almost immediately. It felt strange to me that I could sleep in the midst of everything that had happened over the last three days, but the sheer physical exhaustion I felt was made worse by the mix of emotions seething inside me over Roeseer’s sudden departure.

  When I woke, I had no idea of the time of day, but I felt surprisingly well rested and refreshed. Sitting up, I took in my surroundings, thinking to myself that to wake up in a room like this under any other circumstances would be exciting. The morning light shone through the windows, dappling my bedclothes and warming the bed. Someone had been in the room while I slept. The food and wine from last night had been taken and replaced with a platter of fruits and cheese. A pitcher of freshly squeezed juice of some sort sat on a small table next to my bed, and I poured some into the waiting cup and drank deeply.

  After getting out of the bed, I walked to the bathing room and cleaned myself up before returning to the main chamber and swapping my towel robe for the cream gown and gold slippers. There was a brush and a comb on the dressing table, w
hich I used to tease the tangles from my hair, although once I was done, I felt a little silly as I didn’t know what I was actually ready for. Looking at my reflection in the mirror I winced a little.

  The cream-coloured dress was cut in the style common to folk who lived in the capital. The sleeves were long, but the neckline plunged into a V shape so deep, it almost showed my bellybutton. Although the dress was indeed floor-length, it had two slits cut into the rippling fabric which ran from the floor to my hips so when I walked most of my thigh was exposed. The neckline and the cuffs were embellished in a gold that matched the slippers, and the overall effect was striking, but I didn’t feel at all comfortable dressed this way. A quick look in the bathing room confirmed that my dirty clothing had also been removed, probably at the same time as the food last night, and so it seemed I was stuck with what I was wearing.

  I was picking at some cherries from the fruit platter when there was a tap at the door, and Bernhardt walked in.

  “Good morning, sweet girl. How did you sleep?” He paused and studied me for a moment before continuing. “You clean up well Nyssa. You are in fact quite beautiful.” There was no lust in his words or his eyes. He was probably just surprised that the grubby, tear-stained girl from last night had disappeared and been replaced with someone who looked, well, almost respectable. “I thought perhaps today we could show you around the castle,” he suggested cheerfully. “If this is to be your home, then you need to be able to find your way to all of the important places like the kitchens for treats and the gardens for some fresh air.” He winked.

  I was surprised. I had thought I would be confined to my room. It hadn’t occurred to me I would be given the freedom to come and go as I pleased. As if sensing my thoughts, Bernhardt smiled and nodded toward the open door. I needed no further encouragement—the bigger my cage, the better chance I had of finding a way to escape. I headed to the door and Bernhardt followed. I was startled to find an armoured guard stood outside my door and realised with a frown he must have been there all night. I also noticed that none of the other four red doors had a guard outside, meaning mine was probably the only room occupied at that time.